Crash
by ShingetsuXMangetsu
Summary: Kurogane doesn't make promises he can't keep, but fate isn't so reliable. Outside factors make for broken promises and misplaced guilt. Deals with car accidents, trauma and guilty, overprotective Kurogane.


**A/N: Hi lovelies~ Kurogane may be a bit ooc but I think, since this is AU after all, it's not too over the top, and I ****_know _****he could never be simply stoic or silent if something happened to Fai so unexpectedly; the man may be strong but Fai is his ****_soulmate_****, and protection is so much a part of how he chooses to show his love. Also deals with his unrelenting desire to change the universe to better suit Fai.**

**Anyway, read, review, and ENJOY~**

_Fai curled against him, the back of the taxi a warm, muted shelter from the snow. They had decided against driving, knowing how late Tomoyo would keep them out, and now Kurogane appreciated that decision. He tuned out the surrounding cars in favor of wrapping an arm around the man beside him, who was yawning quite regularly but had yet to put his head down._

_"It's gonna be a while, you can sleep."_

_Fai was small, bird boned, and he could easily manage him if he wasn't awake by the time they reached their apartment; after all, sleeping Fai was easier to carry than drunk Fai._

_The man only shook his head though, reached to squeeze the arm the was was holding him._

_"Can't sleep in cars..."_

_Kurogane paused, wondering if, after all this time, it was possible for him to have missed such a quirk. It was not._

_"You slept the whole way back from New York, I watched you."_

_Fai only pressed closer, breathing a dreamy laugh._

_"That's cause Kuro-sama was driving..."_

_}{_

The rain is teeming, _flooding_ the windshield as Kurogane flicks the wipers to their highest setting.

They had gone out, had dinner somewhere with cloth napkins and a wine list. He tries to take the blonde out somewhere decent every so often, if finances permitted. It isn't exactly his scene but it made Fai happy so, with some level of fabricated reluctance, he does it.

Fai is slouched in his seat, head resting on his own shoulder, listing towards Kurogane. His eyes are closed, fair lashes settled over milk pale cheeks; true to his word, Fai has no trouble sleeping with him at the wheel.

They're almost at their exit.

Visibility is so low that he almost doesn't see it coming.

He _does _see it though.

The black behemoth of an Escalade heading towards them on the opposite side of the highway skids, catches itself, and then lurches forward. For less than an instant Kurogane thinks that's the end of it. Then it jumps the divider.

It happens _so fast_, but in his head it feels slower. It's going to hit them though- he knows that- and at this angle it's going to hit the passenger-side.

It is with thought- but not hesitation- that he wrenches the wheel as far right as it will go.

The split second drags on and on and all he can hear is his own breath.

When it finally hits it _smashes _into the front-left corner of the small sedan, sending them tearing at a diagonal, tires screaming so loudly that he barely hears the harsh whisper of his name as he throws an arm across Fai. They lock eyes for just a second and Fai's are so wide and so _blue _he thinks he might drown.

Then they're off the road.

It's a steep slope and he expects them to roll but they _don't; _it's like they've gone off a cliff and fallen strait down, the car landing on it's side. The wrong side.

The noise level goes from deafening to near silent, car creaking and moaning under it's own weight, settling slowly into the dirt. The rain still beats down but it no longer seems so overwhelming.

At some point during the crash his seat belt had locked up, but not before he was thrown out of his seat; he now hangs suspended from the chair, practically on top of Fai...

_Fai_

The side of the car is crumpled inward and Fai is limp against it. His head is nestled in the spiderweb of glass from the broken window. There is blood in that fine gold hair and he feels a familiar, almost forgotten sensation ripple through him.

Kurogane tries speaking first, because he is an _adult_ and he knows better than to jump to conclusions. After all, _anyone_ would be unconscious after that.

**"Fai..."**

**He looks so ****_small_**** and it's ridiculous to be thinking about but he wonders if he's eating enough because no one could be the skinny and he's still not moving-**

**"Fai."**

**-the blood is pooling under his head but the side of his face that's up is unmarred, untouched, perfectly smooth but pale, paler than normal and he's ****_so still_****-**

**"FAI."**

**He's staring and the longer he stares the more he knows that his chest is not going to rise-**

**_it's just not going to rise-_**

**He's just ****_not going to breathe-_**

**He's just not ****_going to wake up-_**

** And that is when he wants to scream-**

**-Because this is not his father in the war.**

**This is not his mother in the hospital.**

**This is Fai, in their car and Kurogane is ****_right here_****- he's right here next to him****_, _****he was ****_right there- _****and he trusted him, because he was supposed to protect him because he said he always would and he ****_did_****, he ****_tried_****, and this time, ****_this time_**** he saw it coming and he ****_thought_**** he could, he ****_could have_****, somehow there was a way he could have and he ****_didn't _****and he won't breath and there is blood in his hair, so close to him that he can smell the tang of iron.**

He strains to press a kiss to the crown of this person who he had promised to protect, and failed to protect, just like the others. He can feel his own tears on his face, something he hasn't felt for years, something he hadn't thought he'd feel again, not so soon. He hasn't felt it since the call, hasn't felt it since the steady beep of the monitor just _stopped_.

His lips move from his hair to his cheek, a soft kiss he doesn't pull away from because he also promised him that he would never be alone.

He keeps that promise, even as Fai's skin grows cold under his lips. He keeps that promise even as the blackness at the edge of his vision takes over.

}{

He wakes in a hospital bed and there is no disorientation. He doesn't need to _think_ to remember what happened because it will never leave his mind.

He sees too pale skin and frozen features and blue lips and blonde hair matted with blood and-

There is a scream building in his chest, one of the purest agony, one he hasn't felt since the deaths of his parents. It is building and growing and just preparing to tear through him when he is cut off by a sob.

It is a quiet sob, a soft sob, an exceedingly familiar sob that he remembers spending a few long nights with, just listening to it, just proving he wasn't afraid of it. As he listens to it now, and the ones that follow, the memories he was so certain of only seconds ago seem vague.

He follows the noise to his side, down his right arm where two small, pale hands are gripping his larger hand fiercely. Beyond that is a pile of blonde hair, wild and tangled but clean of blood. He flexes his fingers, meaning to reach for him, but Fai's grip tightens as his head shoots up.

His eyes are wide again and this time they are full of tears, the ones that haven't spilled over yet. The rest are running down his cheeks in rivulets.

Fai does not normally cry for long periods of time; he has cried in the night, after dreams or just memories, but they are short lived spouts, a tear or two before he resigns himself to silence.

_Never_ has Kurogane witnessed a display like this from the blonde; his sobs were quiet, painfully controlled, but it was obvious he'd been going for some time. Never before has he seen the blonde with red eyes, but the contrast makes his already startling blue irises look like jewels. His jaw is clenched so tight his face is shaking and still he will not relinquish his grip on his hand. Kurogane can feel his own shock in his face, not at the tears but at Fai's presence alone.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

It's the only thing he can think to say, the only thing that matters to him in this moment, but Fai's face tells him it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Of _course _I've seen a doctor, _you're _the one who needs one."

Kurogane groans, shifting to sit up and winces.

"Don't, don't move your arm..."

Fai finally releases him, moving forward to put a hand on his chest. Kurogane eases back down, looks to his left.

His arm is propped up and bound with bandages. He tries to move it but growls as searing pain spreads through it, up to his shoulder.

"I _said_ don't move it." Fai is trying to sound irritated but mostly he just sounds worried. "They're saying you're going to need surgery... something needs to be pinned back together."

"How..?" Kurogane closes his eyes and thinks but he can't decide how much of what he remembers about the crash is real and how much is his own imagination. Fai looks at him oddly.

"You don't remember?"

The blonde seems to suddenly take stock of himself and sniffs, violently dragging his palm across his wet cheeks until they're only slightly damp. Kurogane just shakes his head.

"I remember the crash but I remember _you_... you hit your head or something... I don't know, I don't remember it as much now... but you weren't..." He thinks, "It was a dream. In my dream you weren't breathing..."

Fai looks surprised and lets out a small, dry, hiccup of a sob. He smiles though, for the first time looking like he doesn't expect Kurogane to disappear.

"We rolled... You had your arm over me... When we hit the first time, the side of the car caved and your arm... it just snapped back," The blonde seems to shudder, but there are no more tears, only shaking breaths. "You kept me from falling forward though... You... I... I have whiplash-" He rubs absently at his neck and Kurogane wonders if he should have a brace. "but other than that... not a scratch..."

That is an exaggeration, as Kurogane can clearly see dozens of dark bruises.

Slowly, he lifts his good arm- which is quite bruised itself- and Fai carefully slides under it, joining him on the bed and gingerly resting his head against his chest.

"You have to tell me if I hurt you, don't be stubborn about it."

Kurogane chuckles then, which hurts. He feels the familiar ache of bruised ribs but stays silent, lest Fai decides to move.

"You have to tell me too"

"I'm fine, I just have bruises..."

"Bruises hurt."

"Yeah but," Fai looks up at him and winks, "I'm pretty tough you know."

He's trying to be funny but through it Kurogane can see the same shaken fear he's felt since waking up.

He rests his chin lightly on a cloud of hair and rolls his eyes.

"Yeah I know."

They are silent for a moment, then-

"Kuro?"

"Hmm?"

"You're crushing me."

He mumbles an apology and loosens his grip. His hand slides from Fai's shoulder, runs down his side and settles on the curve of his rear. It isn't meant as a grope, just an intimacy, and he knows Fai understands that. The smaller presses closer, fisting his hand in the sheet by Kurogane's waist and tugging it higher.

"What's the matter?"

The larger man considers the question. The obvious answer is not the one Fai is after.

"I dreamt... I dreamt I killed you."

Fai stiffens.

"No you didn't. You dreamt I died. There's a difference."

"Not when I was driving."

Fai makes a noise that's either exasperation or plain annoyance.

"Superfluous guilt is _my_ shtick, remember?"

This gives Kurogane pause as Fai props his chin on his chest and gazes up at him through his bangs.

"You're constantly telling me not to feel guilty for things that are out of my control but you're the same way."

"I'm not-"

"You _are _though," Fai soothes, putting his head back down and sliding his hand up until it's resting lightly on his injured shoulder, it's weight indiscernible. "with your need to _protect _everything. Honestly, you're like a dog-"

"Not _everything._"

Fai softens and then he's moving, sliding up to kiss his cheek, once, twice, again, speaking between kisses.

"I know... I know, not everything."

Kurogane turns into the last kiss, exchanging a chaste press of lips before Fai lays back down, head tucked under his chin.

"But you can't control everything and if something out of control takes away your ability to protect someone, you can't think of it as a broken promise."

"How is it you can say this to me when it took you forever to get it into your own damn head?"

His tone is teasing and Fai laughs but there is sincerity in his voice when he answers.

"Well Kuro-sama taught me all that, so now I'll know it forever, even if he forgets."

**Read and review darlings, I might just have other stories for you soon ;)**


End file.
